An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience. – Mitch Hedberg
Mitch Hedberg (February 24, 1968 – March 29, 2005) was an American comedian whose signature style of joke writing and comedic delivery gained him a cult following. News of Hedberg's untimely death by drug overdose at the age of 37, was received with shock by his friends and fans, although he was a known drug user. Hedberg's command of surreal humor and non sequiturs has been cited as a major influence for comedians such as Mike Birbiglia, Demetri Martin, and Aziz Ansari.
Mitch Hedberg first appeared on television on MTV's Comikaze. Shortly thereafter, Hedberg appeared on The Late Show with David Letterman, which was very well-received and introduced him to a national audience. Letterman enjoyed his set so much that the host quoted his act later in the show.
In 1998, Hedberg appeared in an episode of That 70's Show. His independent feature film, Los Enchiladas!, which he wrote, produced, and starred in, was completed in 1999. Hedberg has three complete comedy albums: Strategic Grill Locations, Mitch All Together, and Do You Believe in Gosh?, the last of which was released posthumously.
Around 2000, the comedian signed a development deal with Fox to create a sitcom, and Time magazine called Mitch "the next Seinfeld". Hedberg made nine more appearances on Letterman, and was said to have comic legends like George Carlin and Dave Chappelle among his fans.
Throughout his career, Hedberg developed a reputation as a brilliant manipulator of observational humor and wordplay. Fans of Hedberg were so familiar with his work that they would often shout out the punchline before he finished telling the joke.
Hedberg suffered from stage fright and preferred to wear sunglasses on stage. It became part of his stage persona, although he would occasionally get so nervous that his microphone would shake. Hedberg was known to comment on jokes when they were poorly-received, sometimes saying, "That joke's better than you acted." After a joke on Strategic Grill Locations, Hedberg said, "All right ... that joke is going to be good because I'm going to take all the words out and add new words. That joke will be fixed."
On March 29, 2005, Mitch Hedberg was discovered dead in a hotel room in Livingston, New Jersey. It was reported that his death was caused by multiple drug toxicity from cocaine and heroin. In 2008, Comedy Central Records released Do You Believe in Gosh?, an album of new material from Hedberg. His wife, fellow comedian Lynn Shawcroft, wrote an introduction for the album.
Mitch Hedberg Quotes:
A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.
Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.
Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.
Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus?
If I had nine of my fingers missing I wouldn't type any slower.
This shirt is dry clean only. Which means... it's dirty.
I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations that I've traveled to. But first, I'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won't fall down.
You know when it comes to racism, people say: " I don't care if they're black, white, purple or green"... Ooh hold on now: Purple or Green? You gotta draw the line somewhere! To hell with purple people! - Unless they're suffocating - then help'em.
A fly was very close to being called a "land." cause that's what they do half the time.
Whenever I walk, people try to hand me out flyers. And when someone tries to hand me out a flyer, it's kinda like they're saying, 'Here—you throw this away.
I saw a human pyramid once. It was very unnecessary.
I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality.
I would imagine that if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.
Dogs are forever in the push up postion.
I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.
"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall."
- Birthday Date: Monday, 24 February 2014